Hi Angel,
It will soon be my birthday, and I love to give.
I know that we’re in a time of deep scarcity and that Black femmes are exploited. But the truth is, I feel so abundant.
For months now, I’ve been meaning to offer you more. But I wasn’t really sure how and what you need, apart from the immediate fall of the Empire, of course.
So here are two offerings coming from my heart to yours.
I am so grateful that you take the time to read anything I write. It’s still mind boggling that maybe I’ll never meet you and yet you read some of my most intimate thoughts.
Anygayz! Here are the two offerings:
1. Advice Column: The Question Underneath
Writing—on Substack or in my journal—is where I come to think. Slowly. Honestly. Without the pressure to perform certainty.
Writing has always been the place where I lay down what feels unbearable in my body: too heavy, too shameful, too raw, too much, too… human. I’ve learned that when I can write something down, half of the process is already done. Healing lies much more in naming than we often realize. You can’t name what you don’t know, and when you can’t name your feelings, it becomes difficult to name yourself.
After that, the work shifts. Repair is less about “healing” in the traditional sense—waiting for a wound to close—and more about support. Healing takes time and moves in nonlinear ways. Repair, on the other hand, is relational and cyclical. I come to the page wounded, bleeding, human. I love when people come to my sessions and programs that way, too. One that breaks open.
I’ve been wanting to open this space to all of you who want to come forward with the humility of a broken & open heart as well. I thought I should start now, as I’ve just reached 20k on Substack (thank you!).
What I’ve learned over years of working as a somatic practitioner, a Transformative Justice practitioner, and a doula is that nothing can heal while it remains hidden—especially from ourselves. What also heals tremendously is realizing that our wounds don’t isolate us; they connect us. It’s the shame around them, and the belief that we’re the only ones feeling this way, that does the isolating. Even when people don’t know the exact contours of our story, they are, like us, human. They, too, live with broken hearts.
People often ask me for advice when what they’re really asking for is permission: permission to choose differently, permission to be seen in what they believe is shameful, permission to finally say the thing they’ve been rehearsing in their head for months. Permission to be themselves, fully.
This column grows out of that impulse. And I’ll admit—I’ve been in love with advice columns since I was a child. So here it comes ! Introducing The Question Underneath!
I hope to answer every week or every weeks, but what I want to promise you is quality over quantity. It’s hard and harder to support oneself with one’s art, but I am so grateful to have any one supporting me with a few euros a month! I’ll never take that for granted.
Recently, I’ve been meaning to give more, because everything feels so… bleak.
And yet here we are.
What this column is
The Question Underneath is not about giving answers. It’s about asking better questions.
You can write to me with whatever you’re circling: a conflict you can’t resolve (internal or external), a regret you can’t release, a pattern you keep repeating. I’ll work with what’s beneath the question—the nervous system, the history, the longing, the avoidance, the part of you that already knows something but hasn’t been given language yet.
I won’t tell you what to do. What I will do is help you find what’s true enough to act from, often drawing from my own heartbreak and longing.
Two disclaimers:
I’m a Sagittarius rising, which means I’m a straight talker. Some answers will be tender. Some will be unsettling. All of them will be written with care.
I write from care, not from an unlimited capacity to hold everything. Please keep your own agency in sight as you write and read. I’m here to ask better questions, not to decide life for you. You are the one doing this.
About submitting a question
Everyone is welcome to ask a question, butI will make sure to prioritize paid subscribers + LPF participants !
Thanks for reading! A quick reminder: this newsletter runs entirely on reader support. There are no ads, I only write for the folks whose wounds have the shape of my words. If you enjoy the content, consider contributing a few dollars a month. Your support makes a huge difference — and as a bonus, you’ll get access to exclusive articles, the full archive and all my zines for free. Founders get my courses for free. Thank you !
What I love to answer most is the question you can’t stop thinking about—the one that keeps coming back to the shore of your skin. The question you keep avoiding. Those are usually the ones that matter.
This column is:
reflective, relational, and somatically informed
grounded in accountability and abolitionist care
oriented toward agency rather than reassurance for reassurance’s sake
If you are interested and curious about feeling unsettled in a generative way, if you’re interested in agency more than you are in rescue, and if you can tolerate not getting a “clear answer”, this column is the place for you.
This column isn’t
quick fixes
moral judgment
therapy or crisis support
advice about who’s right or wrong
a place for public shaming or surveillance
If your question feels unfinished, uncomfortable, or hard to phrase, that’s usually a good sign!
I’ll choose questions that feel alive—questions that hold tension, grief, nuance, and possibility. I may edit for clarity and length, but I’ll keep the heart of what you’re asking intact. My responses are grounded in somatics, relational accountability, and abolitionist care. They aren’t therapy, and they aren’t neutral. They’re written with the assumption that repair is possible—and that no one is beyond change, starting with you.
SUBMISSION GUIDELINES
Have a question for Care?
Just fill the form here.
Include your question with the information you believe is necessary for me to answer thoroughly. Make sure to offer up a pseudonym, or indicate the name you’d like me to answer to as well as your pronouns.
What I love to answer:
The question you can’t stop thinking about, the one that keeps coming back to the shore of your skin
The question you keep avoiding.
Those are usually the ones that matter.
A few things to know before you send:
I may lightly edit questions for clarity or length, but I’ll keep the heart of what you’re asking intact.
Make sure to offer up a pseudonym, or indicate the name you’d like me to answer to as well as your pronouns.
Although I do read each one, I probably won’t be able to answer all of them. If I choose yours, I will answer with all the information and heart life allows me to access in this present moment.
2. FREE Conflict/somatic support for organizing spaces
I know that every right I benefit from today exists because someone organized for it. I am endlessly grateful to organizing spaces and to everyone who offers their time, energy, and courage toward our collective liberation.
I am happy to support grassroots groups, NGOs, informal collectives that work toward our collective liberation. You can be organizing about Palestine, the Congo, or safe housing for everyone in your neighbourhood.
Anything is welcome, as long as it is about more safety, dignity, belonging for folks around you.
I’d love to support you in your journey around:
Conflict transformation
Setting up conflict/care infrastructure
Facilitation support
Somatic tools for organizers
Accountability processes
Repair after rupture
Collective leadership support
I can support you with a 2-hour workshop or a monthly meeting over time around a conflict you’re struggling with. It’s solidarity we’ll build together.
Important to note: I have limited capacity and time, so you filling the form does NOT mean I will be able to get back to you and work with you, unfortunately. I’ll try my hardest to support as many folks as possible.
Priority goes to participants of my program Liberation Practice Field (including those of you who participated last year!) + Substack Paid subscribers.
Thank you for your understanding.
If this could support you/your organization, feel free to fill the form here.
Stay ungovernable, and thank you for entrusting me with your question,
Care
