I asked folks in my stories why they didn’t say sorry to a person they had hurt/harmed.
A lot of folks responded along those lines:
This didn’t surprise me. Not because I’ve heard this many times in my workshops, but because i have felt this way so many times, i stopped counting.
What we keep from conversations about harm is grief.
The huge amount of unprocessed grief we all carry in our bodies.
when we are kept from properly grieving what we’ve lost, we’re more subjected to enact violence on others to comfort what is unhealed within us
Not reenacting violence when we can is a privilege - in so many situations, we simply can not to walk away.
AND, I’ve seen so many of us (including my selves) choosing violence when it was not needed. Often, in those moments, we feel powerless. Therefore building our capacity for choice is essential in stopping patterns of violence that do not serve collective liberation.
So much of our lives is a function of our refusal to grieve,
we are standing in the grave of our undealt trauma as a collective.
when we are kept from properly grieving what is lost, we’re more subjected to enact violence on others to comfort what is unhealed within us
I see this as a desperate act to share what can no longer be held, in the body.
humans are not just amaazing at noticing patterns, we create them, too.
that’s because we are nature, and nature is patterns
LOOK !
Nature is also amazing at reaching for more Life, more repair.
Do you want to be part of the repair?
the very world we want to build is modelled in the relationships we have with one another!
My workshop, Transformative Justice Embodied: the somatics of accountability, generative conflict and repair is coming up soon: Wednesday 21st, 6-9pm CET.
Replay available forever if you register now.
Link here.