What Would Your Baddest Self Do?

Learn how I created my mantra "what would a bad girl do?" + build your own (in 5 steps)!

I am not a ‘5 -steps- kinda person, but I really love this mantra and how I built it, and so I wanted to share.

Affirmations and mantras never worked for me.

I remember watching this Poly documentary and this girl (entangled in a poly situation with a cis man… which… lol) was looking at herself in the mirror and repeating mantras and it felt… gaslighting.

Why would I repeat mantras someone else created?

So, if you’ve always wanted to have a mantra just for you, here it is, in 5 steps.

And just so you know: this mini-exercise will be part of my Becoming Conflict Secure/Conflict Breakthrough course. I can’t wait to share it with you.

STEP 1: Notice the Trigger

When you’re upset, anxious, or spiraling —pause and ask:

“What am I really believing about myself right now? What is my internal narrative saying?”

For Example:

“I will never belong because I’m not good enough.”

Make sure to have a ‘because’ in this sentence.

Here we are focusing on the belief about ourselves that stems from our feelings.

⸻

STEP 2: Find the Core Wound

Boil it down to the emotional root. One of the usual suspects are:

• Not enough / unworthy

• Abandoned / unloved

• Powerless / unseen

• Unsafe / not in control

• Not belonging / outsider

Example:

“I don’t belong” is the core wound.

⸻

STEP 3: Identify the False Identity/Mask (the coping persona)

Ask:

“Who do I become to protect myself from that pain?”

This is your mask or adaptive self.

Example:

‘To belong, I become the good girl — pleasing, fitting in, performing.’OR ‘I isolate and become hyper independent’

⸻

STEP 4: Find the Shadow (the authentic rebel)

Ask:

“Who would I be if I didn’t care about that false belief?”

That’s your shadowed power — the part of you you’ve been denying.

Example:

Opposite to people pleasing/good girl= Bad girl — unapologetic, real, expressive.

Or social person (for hyper independent part of us)

⸻

STEP 5: Turn It Into a Question

Now phrase it as a curious, activating question that directs your energy toward truth and choice.

Formula:

“What would a [opposite archetype] do?”

Or more generally:

“What would [my fully expressed self] do right now?”

Example:

“What would a bad girl do?”

OK NOW I WANT TO KNOW WHATS YOUR MANTRA PLS