Why be a star when you could be a constellation?

& other questions to feel your aliveness, drop into belonging, and grow closer to each other

The function of racial capitalism is to force separation, to turn into habit, into an illusionary safer space. It is to recreate and recycle forever the trauma of separation. Separation from our own selves (disembodiment), from others (forced isolation) and from the world & Spirit (emotional, spiritual and geographical displacement).

But it doesn’t stop here, unfortunately. Racial capitalism also creates FALSE, superficial solutions to the problems it created in the first place to keep us in cycles of confusion and illusion (so that we keep consuming in hope to be “found”!).

Example: it creates a purpose OUTSIDE of ourselves. And keeps giving us stupid ass purpose no body cares about. Like not sorry mam but no body comes out of the womb and wants TO WORK FOR SOMEBODY ELSE THEIR WHOLE LIFE, PAY TAXES SO THAT A FEW WHITE MEN KILL PEOPLE TO MAKE MORE MONEY. NO BODY.

I am convinced that the initial problem is our fear of death, but this is for another post.

I want to give you an idea of what this Substack is about, why you’re here (thank you !), and what you might take from it.

The goal of the work that I do is to replace you in the constellation that you are supposed to bloom in. Cause you’re a star, baby.

But why be a star when you could be a constellation? Hm???

The somatics of attachment theory is a BIG topic in my practice. If this idea tickles your brain and you want to hear more, don’t worry, I’ll talk about it in another post for sure. In the meantime, you can listen to an episode I created a while ago for my radio show called The Somatics of Care on Refuge Worldwide. It’s free and a great conversation starter with your loved ones. You can listen to this episode here.

If colonisation’s ultimate violence is to severe relationships, re-placing ourselves inside the relationship is decolonial work already.

We are social beings who can not live alone. It is only recently that we’ve started equating safety to being alone. And while all of us depend on an infinity of relationships - some clearly visible to us like the ones with our loved ones, and some we take for granted, like the one with the trees making up the tropical rainforest of Amazon, the oceans and all precious actors in our vulnerable ecosystem - racial, transphobic, heterosexist, classist, ableist capitalism would like us to believe that we operate as a single, unattended and alone unit. There is nothing more further away from the truth than this. We live within an infinity of relationships and our bodies are the embodied, living proof of long lineages of care and resilience.

Studies show that what contributes most to our health is our capacity to engage in intimate relationships. In other words, the quality of our relationships has a direct impact on the quality of our life. I believe that our interconnectedness goes beyond human interactions; it encompasses our relationship with the environment and all living beings. The quality of these relationships ultimately determines our fate, shaping our ability to thrive or perish as a species. 

Relationship is our survival skill.

When we FEEL our interconnectedness, we become ungovernable. We stop giving pity, and instead, feel empathy. We understand somatically (in other words, we feel and integrate) that no one of us can be free until every single one of us is.

SO: with all of that said, I want this space to be a space your feels can find shelter in. I want this space for you to ask yourselves better questions. For your selves, with your loved ones, for the world we’re dreaming and co-creating all together.

My plan is to give y’all questions that foster intimacy, care, rebellion, sovereignty, boldness, flow and wake the ancestral technologies deep in our tissues up that will lead the revolution we ALL NEED. 

We are made of stardust: most of the elements of our bodies were formed stars over the course of billions of years and multiple star lifetimes, yes !

We contain multitudes: we are our lineages’ wildest dreams and hold in our tissues up to 14 generations of gifts and care, yes !

We are what we need. We are what we’ve been looking for. We are the purpose. 

When I start a somatic journey with a client, we start with building a declaration, or commitment. 

This declaration paves the way for my client to keep doing this hard and tedious work that unfolding in healing is. To build a declaration, the first question I ask is: what is it that you truly care about? What makes your life worth living for? What is it that you are ready to leverage your love and courage for?

I love my work so much because I get to ask people those questions. I get to see them smile, tear up or feel fear when I ask them. I say all of this because I want you to know that all of those feels are welcome. That’s what those questions are for: for you to *feel* something. All that requires that you silence your feelings to keep going, that you put your intuition aside, that you constantly dissociate and become disembodied, is not worth living for. Your aliveness is what makes this whole chaos that Life is worth living for. It is within our aliveness that we can hear our closest one’s laughter and soften in it. It is within our aliveness that we get to hug our loved ones and tell them we love them. It is within our aliveness that we can sweat, smile and blush when a cutie we like tells us they like us too. It is within our aliveness that we get to yell to the top of our lungs for a FREE PALESTINE, A FREE CONGO, A FREE SUDAN, FREE ALL INDIGENOUS FOLKS across the globe and fight for reparations for our precious planet.

Aliveness is our birth right. Aliveness is where it’s at.

Here are some of the questions I ask my clients when we start a journey together. Feel free to share this newsletter with your loved ones or even better, do a journaling session with them with those questions!  I love when folks use my work to get closer to themselves and each other.

Those questions are designed to get us closer to ourselves and each other, as well as create more space for us to *feel* our purpose (our own selves).

Enjoy !

• When you listen to your heart, what is it that you care about? How does that unravel in your life?

• What are your core values, what do they mean to you? In other words, how do you embody those values in your relationships?

• What is worth fighting for: what do you think you will make the “no violence” exception for ? 

• What brings you joy? 

• Even on your worst day, what makes you amazing?

• What do you want them to say when they say goodbye ? 

• What is your first memory in this physical lifetime? How do you think that has influenced the rest of it?

• What is the first gift you were given that is not material? 

• What’s the prayer you arrived with when you embodied and you has stayed intact in your precious heart? What’s the prayer you’ve been praying for lifetimes? What’s the prayer you will leave this life praying? What’s the prayer that is so big, so urgent, so real, so precious, that if you have to commit to the next ten thousand lifetimes just to pray it, you would?